What God is teaching me

Yesterday in youth, our youth pastor asked the kids what they wanted their legacy to be. He asked what they wanted people to say about them after they were gone. I thought about it because we're expected to give our answers too. At first I thought kind. I wanted to be remembered for being kind. But that answer was taken right before me. So I went with loving. I wanted to be known for loving others. As I thought about it, I realized that wasn't really what I wanted though. What I wanted to be known for is for putting others before myself. I have realized that I am really a pretty selfish person. I might do things for other people but my motives aren't always the best. I want to recognition. I want someone to notice that I'm doing these things.God is teaching me to be more selfless and less selfish.
Last month, Chris and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary. I started thinking about what I've learned about marriage through this year. One of the things I have learned through being married is that being selfish doesn't make for a happy marriage. I'm learning that I like doing things for my husband. I like fixing his lunch and making him a smoothie. It probably helps because he's very appreciative of these things. But I like taking care of him nonetheless. I also like taking care of our home. This was a shock to me. I have never liked cleaning the house and I still don't really. But I like knowing that I am making a home for us. I like that Chris can home to a cleanish house and that he doesn't have to worry about doing dishes and laundry. Now granted it is summertime and I'm not working. I feel more like my job is to do these things. Chris doesn't expect me to do these things but I do. (And if I spend too much time on the computer one day and the house is messy. Chris isn't going to care)
I had another opportunity to learn more about being selfless this past week. There is a boy from our school who was diagnosed with brain cancer in January. His dad is a coworker at school. The whole community has really rallied around this family and boy.  I have been praying for this family and praying that I could find a way to help them. A couple of weeks ago, an opportunity came up for me to help the family. His mom was needing other women to come and help at the house. I'll be really honest. This scared me to death. I have no experience with anything medical related. I knew I would be in an uncomfortable position. I don't know his mom at all and I don't know what to say or how to help. But I felt God nudging me to go and help anyway. I was prepared to be saddened by what I saw when I went on Tuesday. But instead, God showed me this amazing example of putting other people ahead of yourself. Regan's mom is amazing. She has been caring for Regan since November when he first got sick. He gets medicine 4 times a day, all his nutrition comes from a feeding tube. She juices for him to give him extra nutrition. She also has this amazing sense of humor and strength through all this. There is also this amazing support system for this family. There are women who give up their time to go and take care of this family. (I don't include myself in this). I hope that I can be that way one day. That the only recognition that I'll need is from God. That I can do things for others and need nothing in return. That I will be a Proverbs 31 woman. That these verses could be about me.

What is God teaching you this week? I would love to hear about it. 

The Struggle between Mary and Martha

I have always been drawn to the story of Jesus visiting Mary and Martha in the Bible.(Luke 10:38-42).  I can remember reading it as a kid and trying to figure out if I was like Mary or Martha. For a while I thought I was more like Mary because homemaking was never going to be my thing. My sister was the one who cooked and cleaned and such. Where I was the one who would  rather visit  than do any work. This was my interpretation as a kid. As I've gotten older, I keep coming back to this story trying to figure out who I am in it. Am I Mary who sits at Jesus' feet or Martha who is trying to feed Jesus? I come back to this a lot in ministry and trying to find my place to serve.
I have worked with kid in youth for the past 6 years in some way or the other. I started out volunteering some with a middle school group that was just starting out. The kids came from different backgrounds of my own. They lived in a hotel that had been turned into a weekly rental. Their whole families were living in one room with no kitchen. It was just me and the youth pastor and we had maybe 10 kids on a good day.  Now I am volunteering with mostly high school youth that come from homes very similar to what I grew up in. My husband and I both volunteer and there are usually at least 3 other couples that work with them too. Our group usually has about 25-30 kids. While these groups were very different, I still struggled with this same Mary and Martha problem. Do I busy myself with feeding the kids and making sure everything is going on track or do I busy myself with spending time with the kids? It is easier now that there are more adults to help with those things but I still struggle with feeling that I need to be in the kitchen. But I know in my heart that relationships are the key to ministry. That I need to spend time with the kids I'm in ministry in with. I hope I'm not alone in this struggle to find a balance between my hands and my heart. This is a struggle I face in not just ministry but in my home life as well. There are always chores to be done around the house. Things I never worried about before getting married. It was my house and if I left it messy, it didn't affect anyone else. Sometimes, I have to think spending quality time with my husband is more important than a clean house.

So this week I'm going to try to remember what Jesus told Martha and to choose the better part. 

I would love to hear about your Mary and Martha struggle.